I have this strange urge. It is made worse if someone says 'don't be daft'. And it doesn't go away. It is not actually illegal, although you are likely to be taken to one side and asked 'are you sure?' as if you are thinking of embarking on a somewhat dodgy liaison.
I want to invest some money. More specifically, I want to invest some money in a football club.
I actually did this some years ago and didn't come to any harm. In fact, I made a profit of about 43% in just over 3 years which compares rather favourably with the annual 0.5% interest I currently get on a bank deposit account.
Of course not all investments return this sort of profit and I am not going to say you should risk more than you could afford to lose. And there are many considerations to take into account.
But the point is that I could not do this with the same club today even if I wished to. And neither could many other fans with other clubs.
Why is this? Put simply, the clubs are not prepared to offer their shares to small (in financial terms!) investors. If you could afford to spend a few million pounds, you would probably be welcomed with an open receipt book.
But recall that, except in very advanced mathematics, x times y = y times x. So, for example, 20 000 people subscribing £500 each produces the same total money as 500 people each providing £20 000 or indeed one person investing £10 million. Most chairmen would probably prefer the one rich person - much more cosy and lower management costs - at least until the lonely one aligns himself with other directors to boot out the chairman!
Vote-hungry politicians would probably, and often do, side with the fans. But in the current economic climate, can we realistically expect MPs to look at low-priority problems such as some football fans feeling unloved?
If the football club of choice (West Ham United) is not prepared to receive your investment, is there an alternative club nearby which might be more accommodating?
Well, it just so happens that a mere six stations east along the District Line from Upton Park, lies Dagenham East station. And if you head north from the station, the fifth road on the left (Victoria Road) is the home of Dagenham & Redbridge FC.
Next season Dagenham & Redbridge will be playing in Football League Division 2 and although the ground is small, they might just be able to accommodate a few refugees from the other club a short distance to the west.
We shall see!
Tuesday, 7 June 2011
Monday, 6 June 2011
The appointment of a ******* football manager
A dream or a nightmare?
The following application has been received.
I would like to be considered for the position of manager of **** *** ****** and would respectfully draw your attention to the following points in support of my application.
My experience in the Premiership has been gained quickly by not spending more than a year or two at a club before moving on to fresh challenges. No time to get stale, no ******* about!
It has enabled me to translate and yell 'Get rid of the ******* ball!' in more than a dozen languages - a simple instruction which has been greatly appreciated, particularly by the players for whom English is not a first language.
I have always placed great emphasis on the ability to get the ball forward quickly. So it's one big hoof into the opponents' half, preferably into their penalty area and even occasionally into their goal! No wasting time with pretty passing like ******* Barcelona! Leave the pretty stuff for the testimonial games.
My gum-chewing technique has been learnt from close observation of S** A*** F******* and has been found helpful in relaxing the tension when the team goes 5-0 down in the first half. No, I never watch myself on television so I don't see and I don't care how disgusting it looks!
I am a strong supporter of the conventions. What is said and done in the changing-room stays in the changing-room. Except of course when it appears in my book! And this would be a good opportunity to mention the unfortunate publicity regarding a young lady who was allegedly receiving my attentions. She referred to being on the game which at the time I thought referred to my interest in football.
As a parent myself, I believe I have the skills to cope with the immature behaviour sometimes associated with the modern player. What I would say is get it out of your system on the pitch. A crunching tackle or two during the game and then you won't need to repeat it later in the clubs.
I hope I can assume that the usual support staff will be available at the club: padre, parking atendant, pastoral guidance officer, personal trainer, pharmacist, physiotherapist, physician, psychologist, publicist, and that's just the p's.
I presume that the importance of the position would be rewarded by a substantial salary and bonuses, a chauffeured limousine for my exclusive use, free medical care, an appropriate personal pension, and a contract not inferior to that of S** A**** F*******. The precise details will of course be negotiated by my agent.
Further details may be obtained from my ghosted autobiography 'On the touchline' which is to be published shortly.
Thank you for your application. Unfortunately on this occasion we are unable to offer you a position with our club. May we respectfully suggest that you may find that employment with FIFA is more appropriate to your talents.
The following application has been received.
I would like to be considered for the position of manager of **** *** ****** and would respectfully draw your attention to the following points in support of my application.
My experience in the Premiership has been gained quickly by not spending more than a year or two at a club before moving on to fresh challenges. No time to get stale, no ******* about!
It has enabled me to translate and yell 'Get rid of the ******* ball!' in more than a dozen languages - a simple instruction which has been greatly appreciated, particularly by the players for whom English is not a first language.
I have always placed great emphasis on the ability to get the ball forward quickly. So it's one big hoof into the opponents' half, preferably into their penalty area and even occasionally into their goal! No wasting time with pretty passing like ******* Barcelona! Leave the pretty stuff for the testimonial games.
My gum-chewing technique has been learnt from close observation of S** A*** F******* and has been found helpful in relaxing the tension when the team goes 5-0 down in the first half. No, I never watch myself on television so I don't see and I don't care how disgusting it looks!
I am a strong supporter of the conventions. What is said and done in the changing-room stays in the changing-room. Except of course when it appears in my book! And this would be a good opportunity to mention the unfortunate publicity regarding a young lady who was allegedly receiving my attentions. She referred to being on the game which at the time I thought referred to my interest in football.
As a parent myself, I believe I have the skills to cope with the immature behaviour sometimes associated with the modern player. What I would say is get it out of your system on the pitch. A crunching tackle or two during the game and then you won't need to repeat it later in the clubs.
I hope I can assume that the usual support staff will be available at the club: padre, parking atendant, pastoral guidance officer, personal trainer, pharmacist, physiotherapist, physician, psychologist, publicist, and that's just the p's.
I presume that the importance of the position would be rewarded by a substantial salary and bonuses, a chauffeured limousine for my exclusive use, free medical care, an appropriate personal pension, and a contract not inferior to that of S** A**** F*******. The precise details will of course be negotiated by my agent.
Further details may be obtained from my ghosted autobiography 'On the touchline' which is to be published shortly.
Thank you for your application. Unfortunately on this occasion we are unable to offer you a position with our club. May we respectfully suggest that you may find that employment with FIFA is more appropriate to your talents.
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
Who owns football?
Or, as it might have been written, ¿Quién posee el fútbol?
'Who Owns Football? - The Governance and Management of the Club Game Worldwide'
(ISBN 978-0-415-44570-2)
Edited by David Hassan and Sean Hamil
First published by Routledge in 2011
Based on articles first available in 'Soccer and Society' vol. 11.4
£76 from Amazon
This is a slim academic volume, with fewer than 200 pages, but the densely written and analytical text requires time and effort to do justice to the wealth of information and ideas which the the book contains.
In the Introduction: models of football governance and management in international sport (David Assan and Sean Hamil), the invigorating thoughts of Michel Platini are followed by an introduction to the collection of seven articles, only three of which (1, 4 and 7) are perhaps strictly relevant to the aims of this blog.
1. Financial performance in English professional football: 'an inconvenient truth'
Sean Hamil and Geoff Walters
Question section 1
Between the 1992/3 and 2006/7 seasons, the combined annual turnover of the Premier League clubs increased by 900%. In how many of these seasons did the combined Premier League clubs make a collective pre-tax profit?
4. Who owns England's game? American professional sporting influences and foreign ownership in the Premier League
John Nauright and John Ramfjord
Question section 4
How many Premier League football clubs (2010-11) are owned by investors based outside the UK?
7. The model of governance at FC Barcelona: balancing member democracy, commercial strategy, corporate social responsibility and sporting performance
Sean Hamil, Geoff Walters and Lee Watson
The best section is left till last. Here you will find a blueprint for the club of your dreams. Return to it again and again when your club behaves in a lesser way.
Question section 7
How many socios had FC Barcelona on 30 June 2008?
The verdict?
At around £80 to buy, perhaps it might be thought expensive for a book. But looked at another way, it does not cost significantly more than attending a Premier League game. Or, even in these hard times. you might be able to find a library which has it on its shelves.
This is a book to be cherished.
Appendix: answers to questions
Section 1: none of these years
Section 4: 10 (at 5 March 2011: Aston Villa, Birmingham City, Blackburn Rovers, Chelsea, Fulham, Liverpool, Manchester United, Manchester City, Sunderland, Tottenham Hotspur).
Section 7: 162,979 on 30 June 2008 (175,071 on 29 August 2010).
'Who Owns Football? - The Governance and Management of the Club Game Worldwide'
(ISBN 978-0-415-44570-2)
Edited by David Hassan and Sean Hamil
First published by Routledge in 2011
Based on articles first available in 'Soccer and Society' vol. 11.4
£76 from Amazon
This is a slim academic volume, with fewer than 200 pages, but the densely written and analytical text requires time and effort to do justice to the wealth of information and ideas which the the book contains.
In the Introduction: models of football governance and management in international sport (David Assan and Sean Hamil), the invigorating thoughts of Michel Platini are followed by an introduction to the collection of seven articles, only three of which (1, 4 and 7) are perhaps strictly relevant to the aims of this blog.
1. Financial performance in English professional football: 'an inconvenient truth'
Sean Hamil and Geoff Walters
Question section 1
Between the 1992/3 and 2006/7 seasons, the combined annual turnover of the Premier League clubs increased by 900%. In how many of these seasons did the combined Premier League clubs make a collective pre-tax profit?
4. Who owns England's game? American professional sporting influences and foreign ownership in the Premier League
John Nauright and John Ramfjord
Question section 4
How many Premier League football clubs (2010-11) are owned by investors based outside the UK?
7. The model of governance at FC Barcelona: balancing member democracy, commercial strategy, corporate social responsibility and sporting performance
Sean Hamil, Geoff Walters and Lee Watson
The best section is left till last. Here you will find a blueprint for the club of your dreams. Return to it again and again when your club behaves in a lesser way.
Question section 7
How many socios had FC Barcelona on 30 June 2008?
The verdict?
At around £80 to buy, perhaps it might be thought expensive for a book. But looked at another way, it does not cost significantly more than attending a Premier League game. Or, even in these hard times. you might be able to find a library which has it on its shelves.
This is a book to be cherished.
Appendix: answers to questions
Section 1: none of these years
Section 4: 10 (at 5 March 2011: Aston Villa, Birmingham City, Blackburn Rovers, Chelsea, Fulham, Liverpool, Manchester United, Manchester City, Sunderland, Tottenham Hotspur).
Section 7: 162,979 on 30 June 2008 (175,071 on 29 August 2010).
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