The appointment of a ******* football manager

A dream or a nightmare?

The following application has been received.

I would like to be considered for the position of manager of **** *** ****** and would respectfully draw your attention to the following points in support of my application.

My experience in the Premiership has been gained quickly by not spending more than a year or two at a club before moving on to fresh challenges. No time to get stale, no ******* about!

It has enabled me to translate and yell 'Get rid of the ******* ball!' in more than a dozen languages - a simple instruction which has been greatly appreciated, particularly by the players for whom English is not a first language.

I have always placed great emphasis on the ability to get the ball forward quickly. So it's one big hoof into the opponents' half, preferably into their penalty area and even occasionally into their goal! No wasting time with pretty passing like ******* Barcelona! Leave the pretty stuff for the testimonial games.

My gum-chewing technique has been learnt from close observation of S** A*** F******* and has been found helpful in relaxing the tension when the team goes 5-0 down in the first half. No, I never watch myself on television so I don't see and I don't care how disgusting it looks!

I am a strong supporter of the conventions. What is said and done in the changing-room stays in the changing-room. Except of course when it appears in my book! And this would be a good opportunity to mention the unfortunate publicity regarding a young lady who was allegedly receiving my attentions. She referred to being on the game which at the time I thought referred to my interest in football.

As a parent myself, I believe I have the skills to cope with the immature behaviour sometimes associated with the modern player. What I would say is get it out of your system on the pitch. A crunching tackle or two during the game and then you won't need to repeat it later in the clubs.

I hope I can assume that the usual support staff will be available at the club: padre, parking atendant, pastoral guidance officer, personal trainer, pharmacist, physiotherapist, physician, psychologist, publicist, and that's just the p's.

I presume that the importance of the position would be rewarded by a substantial salary and bonuses, a chauffeured limousine for my exclusive use, free medical care, an appropriate personal pension, and a contract not inferior to that of S** A**** F*******. The precise details will of course be negotiated by my agent.

Further details may be obtained from my ghosted autobiography 'On the touchline' which is to be published shortly.

Thank you for your application. Unfortunately on this occasion we are unable to offer you a position with our club. May we respectfully suggest that you may find that employment with FIFA is more appropriate to your talents.

Who owns football?

Or, as it might have been written, ¿Quién posee el fútbol?

'Who Owns Football? - The Governance and Management of the Club Game Worldwide'
(ISBN 978-0-415-44570-2)
Edited by David Hassan and Sean Hamil
First published by Routledge in 2011
Based on articles first available in 'Soccer and Society' vol. 11.4
£76 from Amazon

This is a slim academic volume, with fewer than 200 pages, but the densely written and analytical text requires time and effort to do justice to the wealth of information and ideas which the the book contains.

In the Introduction: models of football governance and management in international sport (David Assan and Sean Hamil), the invigorating thoughts of Michel Platini are followed by an introduction to the collection of seven articles, only three of which (1, 4 and 7) are perhaps strictly relevant to the aims of this blog.

1. Financial performance in English professional football: 'an inconvenient truth'
Sean Hamil and Geoff Walters

Question section 1
Between the 1992/3 and 2006/7 seasons, the combined annual turnover of the Premier League clubs increased by 900%. In how many of these seasons did the combined Premier League clubs make a collective pre-tax profit?

4. Who owns England's game? American professional sporting influences and foreign ownership in the Premier League
John Nauright and John Ramfjord

Question section 4
How many Premier League football clubs (2010-11) are owned by investors based outside the UK?

7. The model of governance at FC Barcelona: balancing member democracy, commercial strategy, corporate social responsibility and sporting performance
Sean Hamil, Geoff Walters and Lee Watson

The best section is left till last. Here you will find a blueprint for the club of your dreams. Return to it again and again when your club behaves in a lesser way.

Question section 7
How many socios had FC Barcelona on 30 June 2008?

The verdict?
At around £80 to buy, perhaps it might be thought expensive for a book. But looked at another way, it does not cost significantly more than attending a Premier League game. Or, even in these hard times. you might be able to find a library which has it on its shelves.

This is a book to be cherished.

Appendix: answers to questions

Section 1: none of these years

Section 4: 10 (at 5 March 2011: Aston Villa, Birmingham City, Blackburn Rovers, Chelsea, Fulham, Liverpool, Manchester United, Manchester City, Sunderland, Tottenham Hotspur).

Section 7: 162,979 on 30 June 2008 (175,071 on 29 August 2010).

A political solution for football?

Since July 2009, the posts in this blog have tried to indicate what I think may be a better way to run professional football clubs in England. In the lower divisions of the Football League and in non-league clubs, there has been some progress but usually only when a club has reached financial desperation.

In the Premier League, the clubs and the sums involved are so much larger that only an incremental approach is likely to be effective. Recently both Manchester United and Liverpool supporters have tried to change the way their clubs are run, so far without success. The money which would have to be raised is simply too large for a one-stage process.

There has always been a general recognition of the part that the local football club plays in the life of the community. In the past, there have been several political initiatives intended to promote this connection. I believe politicians have not been unwilling to help and indeed some legislation has been passed to provide assistance. But it has been largely unsuccessful, particularly with the larger clubs. Is there a key to unlock this financial barrier?

Suppose that instead of trying to raise all the money and transfer ownership in one stage (which would be the usual method in business), a football club could be bought gradually by its supporters. It could probably happen at present, except that, given a choice, the larger clubs would probably prefer not to have to deal with tens of thousands of small shareholders. In other words, they would be very reluctant to change.

So it has to be plan B. This would require a political initiative to compel a football club to sell a fixed number of shares at an agreed price to any person applying for them. Over time, the number of shares bought and owned in this way would become a majority. The small shareholders could then, if they wished, decide on the next stage of restructuring the company. The model of FC Barcelona might be used to guide them!

Keen readers will probably find lots of snags in this proposal. So please make your views known, particularly if they include suggestions for improvement. Remember that all six MPs who declared themselves as West Ham supporters replied positively to the original initiative by WHAM!

Struggling upwards

Is there a route to the top of the football club management mountain? Sometimes it seems that 'snakes and ladders' is the most appropriate metaphor for supporters on the uphill trail. In principle the path is simple, but in practice it is full of sharp turns, blind bends, precipitous drops and difficult junctions where the way ahead seems a bit of a lottery.

Is it worth it? After all, you don't usually have a stake in the company that makes the film or a vote in the management of the theatre. You don't often get worked up about the appointment of the players in an orchestra. But somehow, football is different.

Football audiences are often large, sometimes enormous. They participate. They can influence the outcome of the entertainment. They are involved. And they are sometimes taken for granted, even abused.

So how can you start the ascent of the mountain? Nothing could apparently be easier. Buy a share in the club. Or even several shares. But supposing the owners don't want to sell you any? If the company makes widgets, they would be pleased to have your financial assistance. If they only make dreams and hopes, then the door is probably shut in your face. 'Well,' you may say, 'fair enough. Lots of doors are shut in my face.'

Why are the directors apprehensive? Do they see shareholding supporters as an unwanted, unnecessary and expensive complication, a bit of a nuisance? Probably yes. The mob at the gates is a powerful and frightening force in history.

But here's a strange fact. One of the most successful football clubs in the world doesn't react like that. The President of FC Barcelona, Joan Laporta, and his fellow board members don't seem frightened or worried. If FC Barcelona doesn't need to shut the door, why does your club?

This blog is trying to get West Ham (and other clubs) to open the door. By all means re-form a Supporters Trust if you wish, but unless its main activity is building the financial resources to buy shares in the club. I believe it would be wasting its time and, worse, the supporters' money.

How much bettter it would be if, as a first step, West Ham decided to make shares available for purchase by supporters. In present circumstances, there might be no great rush to buy. But the gesture would be significant. It could mark a change from conflict to co-operation and the start of building an English club in the image of FC Barcelona.

Why not get involved? If you would like to be informed of developments or you are able to provide ideas and expertise, please get in touch.

Postscript

David Sullivan (Chairman of West Ham) has recently written that 'in a few months' time, we are considering a general shareholding where supporters can buy shares in the football club. Every penny raised would be used to pay off debts and buy new players.'

WHAM! welcomes this encouraging development and looks forward to further details of the proposal.

Update

The West Ham world has turned on its axis since my last post. The club has new owners and there is a desperate struggle to avoid relegation. The manager is the subject of speculation, the players lack the confidence to show their ability and the directors are accused of making unhelpful comments.

But hang on a moment! All that does sound dreadfully familiar. The fundamentals have not changed. The club is still far away from the ideals of FC Barcelona, both in playing ability and in corporate structure.

So what has happened to WHAM! in the last six months?

Taking the advice given by Supporters Direct, the time has been used to assess the level of interest in, and possible support for, the project.

Using information available on the internet, a list of the names of about a hundred declared celebrity West Ham fans was obtained. Further investigation soon revealed that some celebrities can have a very elastic definition of a football fan! So the list was reduced to 40 names where the attachment to West Ham could be shown to be sufficiently strong. David Gold, then Chairman of Birmingham City FC plc, was included. A letter explaining the nature of the project was sent to each name, with the following results:

• 6 MPs, 6 replies. Very impressive!
• 6 former West Ham shareholders, 1 reply.
• 14 media people, 2 replies.
• 14 others, 2 replies.

A letter inviting their support was also sent to the twenty-nine West Ham United plc shareholders who were on the 2007 register and had addresses in the BR postal area. This provided a representative and convenient sample. One reply.

Letters were sent to the Chairman and to the Secretary of The Hammers Bond Company. There has been no response.

A letter was also sent to Scott Duxbury, then Chief Executive Officer, West Ham United plc. An acknowledgement was received.

Where does this leave WHAM!? Still trying to gain supporters for the cause? Most definitely. Exploring possibilities? Certainly. Talking to West Ham directors? Perhaps. Giving up? Never!